Dear group,
It's that time of year again. The time when Ivan, after having finally
understood something he should have understood a long time ago (this
time it was the true nature of the exchange interaction of two fermions
in a box), and with the consequent smug self-congratulation, decides to
waste some time by haranguing his coworkers with requests for coffee
money.
We have been using the coffee about as fast as predicted in March, so we
will continue the same pricing structure. However, because we are also
running out of cleaning and decalcification tablets, the price will
increase from $3 to $4. That is, everyone who drinks coffee must pay me
$4 for each coffee that they drink in one average week. So, if you drink
5 coffees in one week on average, you give me $20. This payment should
supply you with great cheap coffee until about November. I have a piece
of paper that remembers how much each of you paid last time, if you
would find that information valuable.
People who joined the group after our last collection, and have
therefore been freeloading even since, will of course have to pay me
more. To figure your due, prorate the $4 above to cover the portion of
the period March-July that you have been here. For example, if you came
in the middle of May, you should give me $6. See, simple.
Okay, that's it. I want the money by next group meeting, on Wednesday,
Thursday, or whenever the fickle winds of fortune decide it will occur.
I accept only cash in increments of one dollar.
Thank you,
Ivan
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